Love Me ~ Without Regret Read online

  Copyright © 2016 Renee Kennedy

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. - [email protected]; Editing: Flaming Pen Editing – http://www.Flamingpenediting.com; Cover Design: Allusion Graphics, LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting- http://www.allusiongraphics.com; Photographer: Kristy Rogers- https://www.facebook.com/KristyLouisePS

  DEDICATION

  For my very own Lizzie. Stay awesome!

  To a very special person, sweet Miss Emma and her mom, Heather. Thank you for sharing everything, Emma.

  To the darling Miss Grace and her mom, Elaine. Thank you for being good friends. Grace, you amaze me how you don’t let anything stand in your way of achieving your goals.

  “Life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, and forget the ones who don’t, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.”

  – Harvey Mackay

  Table of Contents

  one

  two

  three

  four

  five

  six

  seven

  eight

  nine

  ten

  eleven

  twelve

  thirteen

  fourteen

  fifteen

  sixteen

  seventeen

  eighteen

  nineteen

  twenty

  twenty-one

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Recommended Reads from the Author

  one

  Lizzie

  “How about him? He looks like he would have a big cock.” Aubrey checks out the guy at the end of the bar.

  “I would break him. He’s too little,” I muse. None of these guys are really my type. They’re all too “good,” and I like rough around the edges. We need to head out to another bar, but I have an ulterior motive for being here.

  Aubrey and I reached the bar about an hour ago, and I’m ready for the band to start playing. We get our new drinks from the bar and test them with our swizzle sticks. I don’t mind going home with someone, but only on my terms. There won’t be any date rape going on with this chick. You would think with my mom’s past, I wouldn’t like one-night stands and casual sex, but that’s what I prefer.

  “Have you gotten picky? What’s been wrong with you here lately? You’re going soft.” Aubrey downs her drink.

  So, I down mine, too, ready for round three. Who will be the lucky guy to buy this round? Damn, there isn’t anyone interesting here and I wore my favorite outfit.

  I saved for a couple of months for these ankle boots, and they look fucking hot on me. The black leather Hades Oxfords are so steampunk! They lace up and have three buckles on each side, with five-inch metal heels. These babies are total kick ass and have some cool metal gear work on them, too. I’ve perfectly paired them with my black, leather, barely there mini skirt, and my black tank with a Harley and skull cut out on the back. My makeup is heavy tonight with thick black eyeliner, flicked up on the sides. My lips are ruby red and full. I don’t know why I’m wasting how good I look here. Almost everyone else is in denim. Freaking rednecks. I mean I dress that way, too but Oh Mi Gawd! Can these people not wear something different? “I’m ready for some action, Aubs, but we’re in the wrong bar for that. If the band isn’t any good, then we’re leaving.”

  “You were the one insisting we come here tonight.” She crosses her arms and checks her watch for the third time in the last thirty minutes.

  “They should be on any minute. Let’s get on the dance floor so we can get a good view.”

  She shrugs. “Whatever. But you don’t really like this kind of music, so what’s the big deal?”

  A huge dance floor is set in front of the stage, which is centered against one wall. The lighting is fantastic for the performers, and the speakers and sound system are top of the line. I wonder how this bar can afford this kind of equipment.

  Tables and booths line one side of the dance floor. They are extremely cozy, with little candles flickering on each of them, casting a romantic glow. The lights on that side of the room are turned down low, creating the ideal atmosphere for setting the mood. On the other side of the dance floor are a few pool tables. High top tables and barstools are scattered haphazardly. With the non-smoking policy in effect everywhere, we don’t have to endure a thick layer of smoke, thank goodness.

  The announcer comes onto the stage. “Please welcome the band we all have come to love. Shades of Regret.”

  Girls all over the bar come to the dance floor, screaming like these guys are famous or something.

  “What kind of name is Shades of Regret?”

  Aubrey looks annoyed and I pull a twenty out of my bra, “Here. Get us more drinks.” She is going to have to quit that whining, I can’t put up with that shit. I mean Bailey doing it is one thing, but anyone else grates on my nerves. Aubrey is my best friend outside of Bailey, but right now, Bailey is so far up Cash’s ass, I’m surprised she doesn’t smell like shit. I can say that because I love her and she is like my sister

  He takes the stage. I can get my fill of looking without him going all cheesy on me since I’m sure he won’t recognize me dressed like this.

  “Thank y’all for coming out tonight. We appreciate all of our loyal fans, ladies.” He winks at a group of girls to the right of center stage.

  They act like a bunch of stupid ass teenagers going crazy over the latest boy band.

  “The boys and I are playing for our favorite charity tonight, Crossroads Ranch. So ladies, if you like what you hear, come by and fill our jar with your change.” He turns and nods to the drummer.

  I hear the opening licks to ‘Rusty Cage’ by Soundgarden, but the song sounds country. I have to say, if I were to listen to country music, I would be jamming to this kind.

  Aubrey comes back with my vodka and cranberry. I take out my little tester stick and swirl it around. Normally, I’m a beer kind of girl, but tonight I need something stronger if I’m going to pull this off. Getting him to come home with me won't be hard, seeing he is already after my coochy and all. I just need these drinks to forget he's an easy-going country boy. I’ll make things easy for him this one night to get him out of my system then I’ll go back to my bad boys.

  I wonder how he is going to like my Nefertiti. My piercing runs vertical on my hooha and normally drives guys wild, but you never know. Bailey and I got them together when she was dating Hendrix, the guy before Cash. Hendrix took hers out, saying a genital piercing was trashy. I lovingly refer to him as ‘A Joke’. I couldn’t be happier that she is rid of him.

  “Who is that? Is he the reason you wanted to come?” Aubrey points to the lead singer. “They aren’t half bad.”

  “Just shut up and listen to the music, ho.” I grin at her.

  “I call dibs.”

  She is lusting after the lead singer, too. Has she lost her ever
-loving mind? “Like hell you do.”

  He does look exceptionally hot tonight wearing perfectly fitting blue jeans and a black t-shirt with a long sleeved button up shirt left hanging open. He has on a baseball hat and cowboy boots and has grown a little bit of a beard since I last saw him. The scruff looks good on him. The whole look makes him appear a smidgeon more rugged, which is doing wonders for my libido—like it needs any help.

  “We will let him decide on that,” Aubrey replies, lifting her chin.

  Yes, we will let him decide.

  He announces the next song as “Heavy is the Head.” I swear I’ve heard this song somewhere. Man, I do like the way he sings. He plays a few more songs equally as good. You wouldn’t exactly consider him a country singer. He’s more southern rock to me. I love dancing to this music. His songs can certainly get me swaying my booty.

  I look back at the stage, and we make eye contact. At first, he looks thoroughly confused then recognition appears, and a sly little smirky grin shows up on his face.

  “We are going to take a little break then we’ll be right back,” Clay says after he finishes the song. He jumps off the stage and heads my way.

  Good boy. You might get rewarded.

  “Lizzie? You look different. I like it.” When he gets through eye banging me, he says, “Come on, let me buy you a drink.”

  Just as he is about to put his arm around my shoulders, Aubrey butts her way in between us.

  “Hi, I love your music. I’m Aubrey!” She leans over and hugs him.

  Aubs better keep her hands to herself. Dicklicker.

  “Was that country?”

  “Oh, hey there! Is your hand heavy? Let me hold it for you.” Clay politely removes her from humping his leg and takes her hand to give it a kiss. “I’m Clay. Are you a friend of Lizzie’s?”

  She is eye drooling all over him now. She needs to back off.

  “Yes, he is my friend, Cheesy Ass,” I say as an introduction. “You do sound impressive tonight.” Lifting my eyebrows, I comment with a tiny giggle, “Who knew you had it in you?”

  “What? I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. I know you didn’t just give me a compliment,” he howls.

  I roll my eyes.

  “I thought you sounded amazing,” Aubrey says.

  She is flirting shamelessly.

  “You guys should go professional.” Aubrey twirls her hair around her finger.

  “Thank you. Are you the moon? In the dark, you still shine brightly.”

  Aubrey laughs her ass off and touches his shoulder. “Aren’t you the charmer? Lizzie hasn’t told me about you, I guess that means either you’re bad in bed or she hasn’t gotten you into bed yet.”

  I’m fixing to whoop this bitch’s ass. I give her my “you had better back the hell up” look. She doesn’t have the same telepathic communication abilities as Bay and I do, so she is thoroughly lost.

  “How about that drink? I don’t have long on my break,” he suggests, deflecting the conversation and turning red.

  “I guess. If it will get you to stop bothering us.” I wink at him.

  He puts his hand on my lower back and guides the way to the bar. I feel little sparks shoot up my spine, but that is probably from the amount of alcohol I’ve consumed tonight.

  “What will it be, ladies?” He knocks his knuckles on the bar.

  “I’ll have a Bud Light. Aubrey?” She is standing on the other side of Clay and she keeps fondling him. I don’t know why he doesn’t just push her off of him. It’s just sickening how she is hanging on him.

  “I’ll have whatever you’re having, Clay.” She bats her eyelashes at him.

  “One Bud Light and two bottles of water.” He turns back toward me. “Are you guys going to watch the second half?”

  “Yes, we are.” Aubrey bobs her head. “I drove and I say when we leave.”

  She doesn’t realize her driving was part of the plan. I have been stalking his band’s Facebook page this past week, incognito of course. Yeah, you’re looking at “Mary Woods,” sweet country girl, a.k.a. my alter ego.

  “I guess I’m stuck here then. I just hope you don’t go singing any whiny, country music on me now.” I take a pull on my beer then turn around, leaning my back against the bar.

  “Not a country music fan? Are you and Bailey even friends?” He chuckles and leans in closer to me.

  “Wait, are you Cash’s brother? This is Cash’s brother?” Aubrey is looking back and forth between us.

  “Yes,” we say in unison.

  “Oh,” Aubrey says.

  She backs off a little now. I confided in Aubrey after Clay’s charity event, that I thought he was cute. I mean he is attractive, in a cowboy sort of way, if you’re into that sort of thing. Personally, I’m not into cowboys. Quit being repetitive, Lizzie. Who are you trying to convince anyway?

  “I think I’ll leave on that comment. Let me know before you ladies leave, Lizzie.” He gives us both a small one-arm hug.

  I watch his ass all the way back to the stage. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Why does he have to look so stimulatingly fine?

  “Lizzie, why didn’t you tell me who he was? Stupid Ass ho. You know I wouldn’t have been all over him then.” She shakes her head and taps her fingertips on the bar.

  “Aubs, it’s no big deal.” I wave her off. “I think he’s sweet, that’s all. He is so stupid with those crazy pickup lines.”

  “Lizzie, I can tell when you’re all stormy in your panties over someone. You’re just lying to yourself.”

  She is as deranged in the head as Bailey. “Have you been fraternizing alongside Bailey? I swear she is determined to have a double wedding.” I huff like I’m exasperated.

  “Just think, Lizzie, the sooner you get it through your thick skull that you want him, the quicker your cobwebs get cleaned out!” She laughs.

  “My cobwebs are cleaned out regularly, thank you very much. I don’t need him for that. He is sexy and has a seductive voice, that’s it. We’re friends. End of story.” I turn my attention back to the stage.

  “If you believe that, Lizzie, you’re more stupid than I thought.”

  She is getting cocky now. “Watch it,” I say. “Let’s dance. There're a couple of cute guys over there.” I need to get my mind off of a certain tremendously sexy vocalist.

  We saunter our way to the guys and shake our asses near them. The dance floor is crowded. Every kind of moving imaginable is happening. The guys looked better from a distance, but they’re okay looking enough to hang out with for now. Aubs makes eye contact with one of them and gives him a wink. They come over and grind on us from behind.

  “Hey, sexy, I’m Preston. You sure know how to move that fine ass of yours,” one of the guys whispers in my ear.

  “I’m Lizzie. Thanks,” I say, glancing backward with a smile. Preston takes that as an invitation. He puts his hands on my hips and dry humps my ass. This music is great for dancing, and I’m feeling the effects of the alcohol I’ve been downing all night. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against him. We are moving in sync to the music, his hips following my movements. Then I feel him grow hard. I break away and put a little distance between us. I move closer to Aubs.

  Aubs and I are having fun dancing seductively with each other. Preston dances close, but he keeps a safe distance for a couple of songs. Then I see the guy Aubs is dancing with lift his chin to Preston. They both move in and sandwich us up. Since Preston isn’t as aggressive as he was before, I continue to dance with him.

  I hear Clay announce the last song he is going to do will be for the true country fans. The band changes to a country two-step rhythm, and Preston grabs my hands and spins me. I don’t normally two-step because it’s not my cup of tea. I beg off then turn to make my way back to center stage.

  He pulls me back. “Hey, where are you going?” he asks through his teeth. He keeps a tight hold around my waist and tries to kiss me.

  I don’t play that way. Game over. “Let me go, cowboy. This isn’t m
y beat.” I smile, but turn my head before he can kiss me.

  “Awe, baby, why don’t we get out of here? We can go home and dance in the sheets.”

  He doesn’t take hints, so I’m going to have to lay it out flat for him. “Listen, I’m not going home, or anywhere else with you for that matter. You are going to spank your own monkey tonight. Now, if you don’t remove your hands from me, I’ll have to kick your ass.”

  He glowers and pulls me into him. “You can kick my ass in bed all you want.” I stomp on his foot, and he lets go of me. I take a step back and give him a right-hand jab.. Just hard enough to let him know I mean business.

  His eyes grow wide and he rubs his chin.

  I caught him off guard to say the least. I swing around to leave, but he grabs me by my hair, yanking me down. Son of a bitch, that hurt. He’s in for it now. I get up ready to battle, but he’s pulled away by the bouncer. I still want my last lick, so I trot over and punch him in the gut as hard as I can.

  “You fucking bitch. I’ll find you, and when I do, you’ll regret that,” he threatens.

  I get all in his face about to fire off my comeback when I’m picked up and hoisted over a shoulder.

  “Oh yeah, you bring it on anytime, butt muncher,” I shout even though I can’t see him any longer. I twist and struggle to get down from this guy’s hold. I refuse to be manhandled and whoever is carrying me over their shoulder will have hell to pay. They’ll be suffering from my wrath as soon as they release me. Then I look down. I’d recognize this ass anywhere. I know exactly who has thrown me over their shoulder like a caveman.

  Clay

  I can’t concentrate on singing for watching Lizzie dance with that loser. He is here every weekend, trying to take a different girl home. He is all over her and it’s appalling. Time creeps by up here and all I can do is watch. I wish I were the one down there dancing with her. I don’t generally dance, but I think I can move as well as that jackass.

  Those clothes she has on make her look entirely different, not like the country girl I know she is. But damn, I like this side of her better. She looks like she fits her personality better if that makes any sense. She appears more wild and free, and it’s as sexy as hell on her. I bet the Harley on the back of her shirt means she likes to bike. I might just be in luck. I’ll have to get her on the back of my Harley soon and see if that turns her on.