Love Me ~ Without Regret Read online

  “This is our last song of the night before we go, and we want to leave you with this. Life is too short to live with regret, so accept your past. It made you who you are today.” Since moving here to Alabama from Nashville, I’ve always closed our shows with a quote or thought on regrets. It helps me remember to not look back on my own past with anger.

  I see Lizzie stop dancing with the jackass, but he pulls her back in. I watch as a scene unfolds. I need to get the little spitfire before she gets herself hurt. I signal for one of the bouncers to take action with the guy then I jump off the stage and head toward Lizzie.

  I pick her up and toss her over my shoulder without a word to her then head to the manager’s office. Lizzie is still making insults to the guy even hanging over my shoulder. She is a force to be reckoned with. I bet she would take on the devil himself.

  “Just what do you think you’re looking at? Do you want me to whoop your ass next?” Lizzie yells at some of the club sluts who are staring at us.

  I use my other hand and pop her on the butt. “Would you calm down already?” I laugh out loud. She is quite a sight when she gets all mad.

  “Did you just spank my ass?”

  She sounds surprised.

  “Clay, I swear when you let me down—”

  I reach up and give her another pop. This could be fun.

  “Clay, don’t make me hurt you!”

  She is so feisty, I didn’t know she could be any sexier, but damn, she is.

  I open the door to the manager’s office and set her on the couch. This is the place me and the guys come to relax between sets or just chill until we are needed. When I decided to open the ranch, I knew I would need a steady income. My buddies and I went in together and bought this place. We don’t tell many people because we want everyone to think we are merely the house band. I’m so thankful that my mom’s parents left me and my sister, Oakley, trust funds when they passed away. I don’t know how we would have been able to support ourselves without that money.

  “Are you going to settle down?” I muse.

  Her face is all red and her eyes have a wicked gleam in them. Damn, I bet she is fun in bed! Too bad those days are over, I wish casual sex wasn’t taboo for me.

  “Clayton, I owe you an ass spanking, bend over.”

  Hell. Yes. Please.

  “Now, Tink,” She reminds me of Tinkerbell, blonde and all feisty. “I haven’t done anything to be spanked for yet.”

  “Who the hell is Tink? And you did do something. You spanked my ass several times without being asked to.”

  She is all huffy.

  “I thought you liked me, but then you go all Tarzan on me.”

  I bust out laughing. She is so funny and looks adorable when she’s outraged. “You look like Tinkerbell—all ‘I’m mad and I’m going to spank you’ when you’re not big enough to hurt anyone.”

  Her eyes narrow and she purses her lips.

  She is about to go buck wild, and I want it.

  Standing, she puts her hands on her hips then gets up in my face. At least as much as she can, but even with those boots, she is still several inches shorter than me.

  “I’ll show you ‘not big enough to hurt anyone,’ Clayton.”

  I want her to show me so bad. “Show me, Tink.” I just drew the line in the sand and dared her to cross it.

  She stares up at me.

  I can’t help but chuckle. Before I know what’s happening, she spins me around and pushes me toward the couch. My knees catch and I launch forward. I reach out to catch my fall, which leaves me ass high and prime for her sneak attack. I allow her to land a smack then I turn and wrap her in my arms.

  “Did you think you had me, Babe?” I whisper in her ear and give her a kiss on the cheek.

  “Clayton.”

  I love the way my name sounds on her lips. I want to hear her moan it.

  “Let me go, I think I’m going to be sick.”

  I drop my arms then show her to the employees-only restroom. I return to the office and grab a bottle of water from the mini-fridge.

  When I make it back to her, she is hunched over the toilet and is all green. I hand her the water then wet a hand towel and wipe her forehead. “Here, let me put this cloth on the back of your neck, too.”

  She nods a tiny bit and her big doe eyes blink several times.

  I kneel beside her and lift her hair off of her neck then alternate the cloth between her forehead and the back of her neck.

  “Thank you, Clay, I’m feeling much better.” She lays her head on my shoulder.

  Her hair smells like lavender and vanilla.

  “Anytime. That’s what I’m here for.” I kiss the top of her head and put my arm around her shoulders.

  “I need to find Aubrey. I’m ready to go home.” She stands and looks in the mirror.

  “Let me text Ryder and have him find her. I’ll take you home.” Ryder’s my best friend and the drummer in the band. I send him a text.

  “You don’t have to do that, Clay. Aubrey is probably ready to go.”

  “I want to make sure you’re okay, Lizzie, and I want to be the one to take you home. Besides, she’s been drinking as much as you and will need a ride home.”

  What are these girls thinking drinking so much and trying to drive? Ryder texts back that he has Aubrey and he will be glad to take care of her. “Okay, Ryder’s taking care of Aubrey. So do you think you can ride on the back of my bike or do I need to borrow a car?”

  She raises her head from my shoulder and gives me a serious look, “You have a bike? What kind of bike do you have?”

  She seems surprised that I drive a motorcycle.

  “I have a Harley Fatboy. But on second thought, you can’t ride dressed like that, you’ll freeze. I’ll borrow Ryder’s Camaro and he can drive Aubrey’s car.” I send Ryder another text to make the arrangements.

  “We live together, so you could take us both home.”

  Well, that would put a kink in my plans. With her being all grateful, my charm might win her over.

  “Oh, I think Ryder is wanting to get to know her.” She has a surprised look on her face. “He said they are um…” I clear my throat, trying to find the right word. “Getting along well. He is going to spend the night with her.”

  “Oh hell! I am not in the mood for that tonight. She gets way too loud moaning, and she starts running around naked. Then the giggling starts. Please don’t let them come to our apartment.” She pulls her cell phone out of her bra and sends a text then sits and stares at her phone for a couple of minutes. When the phone dings, she reads the text and sighs loudly.

  “I take it you didn’t get a text you liked.” I give her a nudge with my shoulder.

  She rolls her eyes and sends another text.

  “They are going back to our apartment. She is always trying to get me to join in when she’s two sheets to the wind.” She holds her cell phone up then makes a fist with her other hand and lets out a little groan. “We tried that shit once and the guy wanted us to make out with each other more than with him.”

  “I can guarantee you Ryder won’t make you two do whatever ‘that’ might have been.” I need to get that image out of my head. That would be pretty fucking hot, those two together with me. Oh, the things I would do, but I’m not that guy anymore.

  “Are you listening to me? You guys are all the same. You all want two girls at once. Pfft, you wouldn’t even know what to do with me.”

  “Is that a challenge? Maybe it’s me you can’t handle?”

  “I just need a bed tonight. Preferably one without a roommate screaming ‘Thank you, Jesus,’ then coming to ask if I’ll play with them.” She belly laughs then turns a little green again and rubs her stomach.

  “Come on, I’ll take care of you.” I hold out my hand to her then pull her to her feet. “Do we need to bring a bag or something in case you get sick?”

  She narrows her eyes.

  I chuckle inwardly, “Can’t hold your liquor, Lizzie?” />
  “Just shut up and take me home, Cheesy Ass.”

  “Alright, Tink, I got you.” I guide her out to find Ryder and get his keys.

  two

  Lizzie

  I slowly wake up, letting in a little bit of light at a time. I fell asleep last night while Clay was driving me home. I don’t even remember coming into the apartment and getting into bed. I’m sure that was real impressive. I wanted to ask him to stay, but really where would that have gotten us. Our developing friendship would have been ruined and things would be awkward whenever I worked at Crossroads.

  I finally convince myself it’s time to arise and face the day. I have a shift at the ranch this afternoon, and I want to be fully ready for whoever I’m paired with. These little kids amaze me with the progress they’re making. Clay opened up Crossroads Ranch, which has therapy horses, back in November and the response has been outstanding.

  Equine therapy uses horses to help people with disabilities develop and hone all type of skills. Clay provides the horses to health care professionals who then meet their patients at the ranch for their session. Equine therapy is more than just riding the horse, though. Sometimes the patients, who are mostly kids, might not even touch the horse at all. They will complete the task they’ve been asked to do, the best they can and then talk about ideas and problem solving used to perform the task. Talking with the kids while they are doing their job allows them to improve language skills. Listening to the instructor helps improve the individual's ability to listen, follow directions, and ask questions. Not only is there communication between the rider and the instructor, but also between the rider and the horse.

  These little dudes have a way of wiggling their way into your heart, even when they’re extremely shy. Sometimes, they play in the dirt or walk the fence line quietly observing, but they all make progress in their own way.

  One sweet little boy, who isn’t quite as bashful as most, likes to pick dandelions and give them to me. His name is Colton, and I think he has a crush on me. Or at least he is fond of me. I’ve been paired up with him on every one of his visits. His mom, Kristy, told me he gets so excited when he’s coming to see the horses and Lizzie. That’s Kristy’s goal right now to get him to try other things. He is just now getting where he will glance up at me when he hands me the flowers.

  I yawn and stretch my way to a sitting position then look around bewildered. I’m not in my own room. This room is masculine with blue and gray bed linens that are exceptionally comfy. I smell a familiar scent and I know exactly where I must be. I’m in Clay’s bed! Did we? No, he wouldn’t, would he?

  Staring down, I notice I’m in an oversized white t-shirt. A Shades of Regret t-shirt. His band has shirts for sale? That’s kind of cool. Maybe it’s another way for them to raise money. Whatever the reason, the shirt is permeated with his scent. I think I will keep this and sleep in it every night.

  I drag myself out of bed and shuffle into the connected bathroom. Regarding myself in the mirror, I shriek internally. I have seen better days. I look like I was rode hard and put up wet. I wash off yesterday’s makeup and use my finger to brush my teeth as well as possible. Thankfully, he has his mouthwash placed out in plain sight.

  I should find him and see what went on between us last night. Although I’ve never been opposed to one-night stands, and the good Lord knows I’ve had my fair share of them, I’m not sure if I want to know what went on between us because things with Clay are different. If things happened between us, not only could they have an adverse effect on us, but on Bailey and Cash, too. I would never do anything to screw that up. Last night I was ready for anything Clay had to offer. Now in the light of the day, I see things a little more clear.

  Before Bailey started dating Cash, she was involved with an asshat. He was a rich arrogant dick that thought Bailey was his personal whore. I almost had to shove his balls up his ass more than once. He is one lucky bastard that Cash came along when he did because Cash has a ton more self-control and is more level headed than me. But that is all in the past, and that is exactly where it should stay.

  Before I wander out of the bedroom, I examine the t-shirt. The length covers more than my clothes did from last night, so I decide it is okay to just wear this. I hear Clay talking and follow his voice. His house isn’t anything special, but the place is immaculate. That must be due to his younger sister, Oakley. She lives with him. Their parents died last year before they moved here and she had to grow up fast this past year. Bailey and I have been spending a lot of time with her because she definitely needs an older female influence in her life, but she is really cool for a senior in high school,

  I spy Clay in the dining room standing at a round wooden kitchen table, talking to someone I can’t see. I don’t want just anyone to see me in only a t-shirt so I sneak into his kitchen, hoping not to draw any attention to myself. I need some water and something for my head. It’s pounding a little, and I don’t want to feel sick for my shift this afternoon.

  I turn the corner to the kitchen and I see my personal ‘Jiminy Cricket’ standing there with a smirk on her face and one eyebrow raised.

  “Is there something you want to tell me, Lizzie?”

  She is clearly humored by my appearance.

  “Talk!”

  Bailey is the only person I take shit from. She is like a part of me. We have been friends since we were born. Our moms grew up together and my mom lived with Aunt Kathy when they were teenagers.

  “Bailey, I’m glad I can be the source of your amusement today.” I make myself at home, looking in Clay’s fridge for a drink. “What brings you here this morning?” I take out a jug of store bought tea. I hope this shit is decent.

  “I think a better question is what are you doing here in just a t-shirt? Was this a little Je ne sais quoi, some kind of tryst or tête–à–tête ala bootay, hmm?”

  “Don’t make me smack that smirk off your face, Bay. It’s not like that and you know it!” I point a well-manicured finger at her. Her grin gets wider if that’s possible. She thinks she is being so clever using her French fufu words.

  “Says the person in only a t-shirt that isn’t her own. We’re having a planning meeting for a couple of charity events. Why don’t we see if Oakley has some shorts you can put on and you sit in and help out?” She tilts her head in the direction of the bedrooms.

  “I guess. But isn’t it too early for this kind of thing?” I look over at the clock on the microwave and see the time is 10:50. Not as early as I thought. I follow Bailey in search of Oakley’s room. We come to a closed door and Bailey knocks.

  “WHAT?” Oakley croaks.

  Teenagers!

  “I’m not coming in there to help you, Clay.”

  “How about letting me borrow some shorts, grumpy?” I open the door and walk on in.

  “Hell, Lizzie, I didn’t say you could come in! You guys get out and let me sleep. It’s Saturday for heaven sakes.” She pulls the covers up to her chin and snuggles down deeper in her bed. “Just take whatever you want to wear and…” Her eyes get big. “Where are your own shorts? Did you and Clay…”

  We have her full attention now.

  She gets out of bed and stands by Bailey.

  “We are not in junior high, guys.” I put my hands on my hips and ask, “What does it matter? You act like we’re crushing on each other and want to know if he got to second base or not. Plus, is it any of your business?”

  “Oakley, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Bailey cuts her eyes over to Oakley with a smirk.

  “Oh, yes I am. I’ll just ask Clay.” Oakley turns her head in my direction, “Either you come clean about all of this or I will pull the annoying little sister and embarrass you in front of everyone.”

  Shit, this little twerp! “Wait until you need me again, Oak. I’ll remember all of this,” I hiss, wagging my finger between them. “I was at the bar last night with Aubs and we had more to drink than we should. Clay was being a gentleman and offered me a ride home.
That is all there is to say, no big secret or story here. So give me a pair of shorts or yoga pants so I can get to the meeting.”

  Oakley hands me a pair of yoga pants, and I slide them on quickly.

  “Lizzie, that doesn’t explain why you are here in Clay’s t-shirt and nothing else.”

  Oakley can be exasperating because she doesn’t stop pestering you until you answer her questions or she gets what she wants.

  “Do you really want details about your brother? Think about that, Oak!” I put my hands on her shoulders and look her square in the eyes. I hope that mental image gets through to her.

  “So, did y’all go to the bone yard? Did you do some dirty hip action or not? Will both of you be my new sisters?” She covers her mouth.

  Here I was thinking she was mature for her age and she starts this crap. “If the two of you must know, I fell asleep on the way home and I don’t remember anything else.”

  “Sure, Lizzie, if you want to lie to yourself, just go right ahead,” Bailey crosses her arms.

  What’s not to believe? I’m done explaining myself to these two. I shake my head then turn around and walk into the dining room.

  Apparently, all of Crossroads staff is here. I’m not sure why I wasn’t told about this meeting. Denise, Clay’s right-hand woman at the ranch, is at his hip. But her position doesn’t excuse the fact she spends all of her free time rubbing her tits all over him. Can she be any more obvious? I wonder if they have hooked up yet. I wouldn’t put it past her. She probably twitter bangs everyone on her friends’ list.

  “I’m glad you ladies could grace us with your presence.” Clay smiles and winks.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Clay. I have plenty of questions I need answered.” Oakley chortles.

  I give her a pinch and mouth for her to shut up while we all take seats.